Vying to be the New JFK

Hillary Clinton and Barrack Obama, in addition to seeking the Democratic presidential nomination, are also both vying for another top spot in the hearts of Democrats: the new JFK®. Senator Obama (D-Ill.) came out with an early lead for the coveted post with an endorsement, albeit a morbid one, from Democratic operative Tim Russert.

Senator Clinton (D-NY, Ill., Ark., Ca., Mass., etc.) has gained ground over the past several days, however. In addition to drawing comparisons to the late Catholic President, Clinton, through her campaign staff, has also announced a new policy initiative that would replicate the heady days of JFK.

"First, within the first 4 months of a Hillary presidency, we will suffer an embarrassing military and intelligence defeat that could have easily been avoided," promised the press release. The press release continues, "[t]his will embolden our enemies and lead to several years of brinkswomanship, culminating in near catastrophe." Hillary also promised to set the stage for a true politically induced military quagmire.

A well placed source notes that the Clintons also intend to get Tony Rodham elected to an Arkansas Senate seat to play the role of moronic younger brother.

Bill Clinton, Senator Clinton's husband and the presumptive First Lady Killer, has even announced plans for a Fall rally in Dallas. "Giggity, giggity," noted the former president.